The Missing Pieces Violence Prevention Curriculum
THE MISSING PIECES is a group therapy program I designed and implemented while working at MCF-STILLWATER, a high security prison in Minnesota. It was designed around Hermes’ Web and the Hoberman Sphere and their shape, as well as their principles. This group met one day a week for morning and afternoon sessions, about 6 hours total each week. The morning was a presentation of one aspect of the overall design and the afternoon a film that embodied important elements of that particular “missing piece” and a subsequent discussion. The men then took home a worksheet related to the film and the morning psycho-educational materials to work on. We kept rotating through all the stations of the Missing Pieces, hoping to re-install as much of them as possible, and/or help the men figure out how to manage the consequences of having those particular “missing pieces.”
What follows is the basic design of the Missing Pieces group. Specific assignments, films, toys and tools, agendas and elements are available if you are interested in utilizing this program. Inquire for pricing and training.
Introduction to the Missing Pieces program:
Rites of Passage/Initiation/Leading from Inside: In the past, what are now the Missing Pieces were built into the life of each young man and woman to help them become adults—intiation rites and ceremonies. We no longer carry out this process – we neglect it. Now, more and more youth do not care for even basic rules or decency, nor do they respect role models and mentors (though often for good reason), requiring a new approach – leading from inside – that starts where they are, not where we want them to be. Those with Missing Pieces are lost and need help from those with courage to go to where they are lost and guide them out to the extent that is possible. That guiding will make them men and women more ready to fit into a functioning society.
The Language of Change: To reach people and have them actually listen and take it in, you need a common language, one they actually speak and understand, not a master’s level psychobabble. That language needs to include basic psychological truths and concepts, but also be interwoven with contemporary culture – movies, toys, TV shows, heroes, and fools. It must include humor and can’t sound too academic. It must be well-informed and experienced. As Francis Bacon once said, physics is best not explained in the language of physics, but in poetry, literature, music, and philosophy – if you really want people to get it. If you don’t, babble on!
Learning Styles/Brain Linkages/Trauma: Most education is primarily cognitive and intellectual despite our awareness of different learning styles and the large number of youth and adults who feel dumb because they don’t fit the mainstream of education. The “missing pieces” approach actually utilizes these other learning styles and, because of that, has a greater likelihood of creating new, more positive brain linkages and overcoming long-term effects of trauma. It recognizes the innate intelligence that the majority of people have and helps them feel valued and hopeful again.
What Are “Missing Pieces?” A simple definition – what people need to lead happy and productive lives within the context of a healthy, functional community and society. But too many people are missing essential pieces of their psychosocial development and most don’t even know it. We have identified these pieces, broken down their components, and designed ways to help build those missing pieces back in and form what we term “accumulating linkages” – a whole greater than the pieces. This effort is what will truly prevent violence, far more than prohibition and punishment, if the long-term commitment to restoring missing pieces is made and carried through with.
The Eight Arms of the Web:
The Roots of Violence: Ten roots of violence, descriptions of each, and suggestions to counter the negative effects of those often overlooked roots. In a true and participatory democracy, these are the things we are all responsible for, whether we’re good or bad people, whether we personally suffer from them or not. Unless these roots are recognized and addressed, we shouldn’t be surprised that the level of violence and crime in our country continues to be the worst in the Western World.
Fathers, Mothers & Attachment: What are the essentials a child needs from their mother and father and what happens if they don’t get it? What happens when attachment needs are not met at crucial times? How does one be a father or mother when that person was never on the receiving end of good parenting themselves? What character styles and personality disorders result from the core-level damage incurred in these dysfunctional situations. This segment also includes a tour of cinema images and stories that illustrate these essential issues.
Basic Communication/Common Language: Utilizing our most basic tools – Hermes’ Web, the barrier & the Hoberman Sphere, we address the most essential elements of the language of change. It is essential to have agreement about the basics in order to go on and address the specifics. This segment lays down common wisdom by utilizing the language of change and demonstrates the importance of getting everyone on the same page.
Emotional Intelligence & The Q’s: There are many forms of intelligence, most more important than IQ, though under-valued. EQ (emotional intelligence) is the most crucial element to recognize and develop and it is a core-level phenomenon, not an ego strength. It also needs to be distinguished from street smarts and the criminal mind. Most importantly, IQ doesn’t correlate with success in life – EQ does – so here we re-establish priorities.
Mirroring – Foundation of the Personality: Mirroring essentially rules our lives, but we seldom recognize it for what it is nor learn how to manage those mirroring needs. We all need recognition, to feel noticed, valued, and admired, and we all get desperate on some level when we are not. Mirroring also plays a huge role in domestic violence, sexual assault, and crime in general. One needs to know whether one’s core-level identity is positive or negative because it will hugely skew one’s natural mirroring-seeking activities and objectives, keeping it from becoming a pathological hunger.
The Toad (Male & Female): Instinctual sexuality has long been reviled as evil, repugnant, and sordid temptations. Well, that’s mostly the Toad. The Toad is what the Toad is, but that doesn’t prevent responsible sexuality, and responsible sexuality is probably not possible without the Toad being taken into consideration. Sex with honor won’t happen without an acute understanding of the Toad and his/her ways. And then there’s the Core Whore, EQ/EQ2, and other factors that play a huge role in sexual behavior. Attending to these overlooked issues makes informed sexual choices a much better bet than when they’re ignored.
Spirituality – Core Integrity: This Missing Piece is about understanding the importance of spirituality without getting into battles over what flag it flies under. Here we examine the essential spiritual nature of life and even psychology, and the need to tend to the soul and manage the inevitable damages that are done to it. Spirituality connects all the pieces, helps one operate as a whole rather than as separated ego and core, and through that diminishes the need for violence, addiction, and chaos.
The Criminal Mind, The Black Box & Defense Budgets: People so easily go astray. We would argue that all the elements of the criminal mind are human behaviors, but when they accumulate and become habitual, the trouble begins. In addition, we all practice the artifice of self-deception, but can learn to undo it if properly trained. We lay out the nine traits of the criminal mind, examples of how they operate, and the crucial reasons for learning to recognize the criminal mind in everyday life. We also examine the benefits and dangers of the filtering our minds do automatically and how monitoring that system helps prevent violence in the long run.
The Four Colors:
The Holocaust Self: When there is too much damage to the human core, such as systematic abuse or a highly destructive family life, the Holocaust Self often results, the human heart shuts down, and a person becomes willing to do almost anything to prevent the pain or discomfort that results. We lay out the nine traits of the Holocaust Self, the unique strategies required to counter it, and ways to deal with each of the traits. An unrecognized Holocaust Self will undermine the best therapeutic efforts and ultimately discourage clients from continuing the struggle to heal.
What We Could Be, Should Be: What are realistic images of what a good, solid human being could look like? Not what you’d expect – it isn’t the handsome hero, the solid citizen, the perfectionist – it is those who deal best with their afflictions, who rise to the challenge in spite of themselves, who know the art of protection, who don’t let their personal pain define their lives and the lives of those around them. We’d go with Shrek or Homer Simpson any day! A new take on the idea of role models.
The Würm & Reconstructive Stories: The Wurm is an amazing old fairytale that provides a structure for change, for the Missing Pieces, for coming to terms with the ignored and festering human core. This segment also addresses why stories have traditionally been a way of providing the heretofore not-so-missing pieces. The Würm represents the cultural split between our surface charm and surety, and, our core-level neglect and anxiety. The Würm story demonstrates what is required to transform the neglected core into something of value.
Etiology & Layers: Things don’t start bad – rather, they start young, perhaps a little wild, then, if ignored, tend to grow worse and worse until they are recognizable monsters that have hijacked the core and need to be locked up. This segment is an exploration of that malevolent growth process that begins when we push what we don’t like down into the core, below the barrier, where it becomes increasingly contaminated and toxic, and, if ignored, becomes violence, crime, mental illness, physical pathology, and addiction.
The Core:
The Choice: There is a basic choice we all need to make – towards good or ill, one way or the other – and the choice must be made over and over until it is set in place, until we have positive momentum. It begins with the Würm – the embodiment of all we have discarded, ignored, and all the wounds we have suffered. The Würm will eventually rule and undermine us unless we make The Choice to transform it into a positive force and become a Spiritual Warrior instead of a blind avenger.
Diagnosis & Testing: An exploration of the purpose of psychological testing, what it tells us about the human ego and core, psychological x-rays, how to know what someone will turn into under pressure, how to translate psychological diagnoses into something useful for the average citizen. We need to map the swamps inside us, find the safe passages: the patterns represented by psychological diagnosis can assist with this.
Drugs, Alcohol & Wormholes: There are stable and unstable wormholes - short cuts - quick ways to get to the soul or core - and drugs and alcohol are the most common. Why would one do the hard work of detoxifying one’s core, of dealing with past abuses and dysfunctional patterns, when the right drug will blast you right past the barriers in minutes and get you to feeling good almost instantaneously. But, since drugs are really only a ticket for a ride, the ride is soon over and you’re left to deal with the functions and dysfunctions of these oft-abused substances.
The 3 C’s: Community, conscience and compassion - these crucial qualities only emanate from a decontaminated core, not a blind one. We can care about people, have values, feel bad when we do things wrong, but those are superficial compared to the 3 C’s. And, the 3 C’s require hard work and maintenance. Bottom line: do we see or do we not see? To develop the 3 C’ we have to learn to distinguish core from ego, and take on the subsequent work - that’s the challenge!